Grace in a season of limitedness
Now that my second pregnancy is public, here's the {not too gory} details of how it's going:
If you knew me at all when I was pregnant with Joe, you knew my life was overtaken by Hypermesis Gravidarum. It was a long 9 months.
I was dreading pregnancy again. I truly was, and it wracked me with guilt because I know couples who would give anything - including 9 months of health and happiness - for babies. But it doesn't make rolling that dice any easier. You have 3 prospects when you have a history of HG - same, worse, or better. No guarantee on what you'll get. It's truly a roll of the dice.
I used to say that Joe was the most planned baby in the history of mankind, but this little one will take that title. I worked for MONTHS before I got pregnant again, following every tip and trick I could find to lessen and avoid HG. It wasn't obsessive, but I felt like it was due diligence. I had to do what I could, mostly because my job is caring for an active toddler.
I did the prep, and then I found a new OB, willing to do aggressive medication therapy other OBs refused to do.
Then I rolled that dice, and luck was a lady. I got an easier pregnancy. {easier does not mean good}
I've still been diagnosed with HG, but it's much more mild than it ever was with Joe. I have so many more moments of "normal". I have many hard days, but the good out number them. I can eat somewhat normal foods. I can keep water down. I can do basic things. These are all huge blessings that I do not take for granted. The piles of medications on my nightstand that I take to start my day are a blessing. I am on many Facebook support groups where women live in countries where the health care system does not allow them to see an OB early enough in pregnancy to get those medications, or does not insurance options that cover them. That may sound trivial, but many of those women go on to lose their babies because they are too sick for their bodies to sustain them {this, btw, has given me a whole new perspective on universal health care, too. yikes!}.
I am greatly limited right now, but my life is full of grace.
I can't exercise and I can't always choose what I can eat. I have days where I need to stay on the couch. I had to quit 90% of the activities I did/led because I knew I wouldn't have spare energy to do them once I got pregnant. But I have so, so much grace. And really good, understanding friends who are kind about my limitedness. And a husband who doesn't care that I don't cook and barely clean and am sort of a grump for 9 months.
Best of all, I will, God willing, have two healthy boys come August. That is the greatest grace of all.
I did my first 2 Lent readings today, and in a season where my body is failing in many, many ways, it's a good reminder that this body will return to dust. My second man, my soul, will forever belong to Him. My suffering isn't pointless or lost.
If you knew me at all when I was pregnant with Joe, you knew my life was overtaken by Hypermesis Gravidarum. It was a long 9 months.
I was dreading pregnancy again. I truly was, and it wracked me with guilt because I know couples who would give anything - including 9 months of health and happiness - for babies. But it doesn't make rolling that dice any easier. You have 3 prospects when you have a history of HG - same, worse, or better. No guarantee on what you'll get. It's truly a roll of the dice.
I used to say that Joe was the most planned baby in the history of mankind, but this little one will take that title. I worked for MONTHS before I got pregnant again, following every tip and trick I could find to lessen and avoid HG. It wasn't obsessive, but I felt like it was due diligence. I had to do what I could, mostly because my job is caring for an active toddler.
I did the prep, and then I found a new OB, willing to do aggressive medication therapy other OBs refused to do.
Then I rolled that dice, and luck was a lady. I got an easier pregnancy. {easier does not mean good}
I've still been diagnosed with HG, but it's much more mild than it ever was with Joe. I have so many more moments of "normal". I have many hard days, but the good out number them. I can eat somewhat normal foods. I can keep water down. I can do basic things. These are all huge blessings that I do not take for granted. The piles of medications on my nightstand that I take to start my day are a blessing. I am on many Facebook support groups where women live in countries where the health care system does not allow them to see an OB early enough in pregnancy to get those medications, or does not insurance options that cover them. That may sound trivial, but many of those women go on to lose their babies because they are too sick for their bodies to sustain them {this, btw, has given me a whole new perspective on universal health care, too. yikes!}.
I am greatly limited right now, but my life is full of grace.
I can't exercise and I can't always choose what I can eat. I have days where I need to stay on the couch. I had to quit 90% of the activities I did/led because I knew I wouldn't have spare energy to do them once I got pregnant. But I have so, so much grace. And really good, understanding friends who are kind about my limitedness. And a husband who doesn't care that I don't cook and barely clean and am sort of a grump for 9 months.
Best of all, I will, God willing, have two healthy boys come August. That is the greatest grace of all.
I did my first 2 Lent readings today, and in a season where my body is failing in many, many ways, it's a good reminder that this body will return to dust. My second man, my soul, will forever belong to Him. My suffering isn't pointless or lost.
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