Showing posts from September, 2013

I am really nervous about this whole baby thing.

Today is the day we find out our baby's gender... if baby cooperates. I'm early for this ultrasound, so I am pretty nervous they won't be able to tell. Not nervous for me, nervous for how crazy I'll go on the staff if they can't tell.

In some ways, I think today will change so much. After today, I will say, "My son" or "My daughter". I will tell my dad what color paint I want the nursery. Today, this baby will get real for me in a very big way. Today, I get a huge reminder that this baby isn't a pregnancy, an experience, but an actual human being.

I was never chomping at the bit to have children. It's a hard story to share, because so many people seem so confident that they want children, that children will enrich their lives. It's hard to say when I know so many people who have had struggled to have their own children. But I know other people need to hear they aren't alone if they feel like I do. And that it's okay if they d…