Friday, August 23, 2013

this is faith

When I heard the news that my grandmother (and final grandparent) had passed away, the first thing that came to my mind was a song. This is fitting, if you knew my grandmother or know my family - we have a song for everything.

One beautiful thing about hymns is that they express, in poetic terms, deep, rich theology. The hymn that has echoed in my heart this week is "Crown Him with Many Crowns". The line that I have been meditating on? 

Hark! how the heavenly anthem drowns all music but it's own. 

If there is one thing I can say about my grandmother, it is that she heard that heavenly anthem, and for her, it drowned out all other noise. Her whole life reflected that, from her love, to her devotion, to her strong faith. I can only hope that I can find the discipline to turn my own ear to heaven in the way that she did.

Then, I received news that a friend of mine lost her baby shortly after his birth. And in my heart, God put the same music. Because when we face pain beyond comfort, when we have no answers, when there are not words to express condolence, this is the promise we have; heaven's music, God's love, drowns out all our earthly sorrows. That, dear ones, is God's promise, and believing it is faith. Though we cannot comprehend what may pass in this life, God promises us that his love is bigger. We just have to believe. 

And when I waiver in my faith, may I remember to follow the next lines of this beautiful hymn...

Awake, my soul and sing of Him who died for thee,
and hail him as thy matchless King throughout eternity. 

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

The baby

I hope you all understand that I simply could not blog the past 14 weeks.

Being pregnant has completely taken over my life. There is no life apart from Zofran, daily prayers to make it, and being sick as a dog. Therefore, there was not much to blog about until we shared our happy news with the internet world.

But this is what you need to know about my pregnancy -

-For all my Wisconsin friends, I'm sorry, but this baby will be a Colts fan. You can be angry or sad, but know blue & white are way cuter colors than green & gold. Also, we live in Indianapolis, and well, when in Rome... also, I don't stand a chance against Robert on that one.

-But do not worry - this baby is definitely part Wisco! When I'm so sick that I cannot keep anything down, the 2 things I can always eat are Culver's French fries and grilled cheese sandwiches. 

-For my coastal friends who may think it's really lame that we are raising a good old Midwest family, take heart. I'm a Midwestern product, and we are friends. There's diversity in who each one of us is and is not. And also, I'm going to enroll this child in San Francisco Urban 2034 to be roommates with either Bridget's daughter or Nicole's son, so this child will have perspective.

-For those of you who may remember that I'm not really a fan of children, nothing has changed. We are just hoping we like this one. As we were telling people about my pregnancy, by far the most common reaction we got was, "Really?" with the implied "you guys?". I guess maybe we shouldn't have made such a big deal out of how much we really didn't like children. People weren't surprised, like, in the happy, birthday party way. It was more, as one friend said, total shock and awe.

-On that note about children, this child already has the world's best cousins. As long as this child doesn't cross our niece, that is.

-If someone could invent a cure for "morning" sickness, I think I would give them this baby's college fund. I really, really would.

-Health coach is probably one of the worst jobs to have when one is pregnant. Not because of the content of the work... But it's my job to help people lose weight, while I'm showing up every week looking bigger with no explanation.  It's a relief to tell people I'm pregnant, not just getting fat. And that I have an excuse, and they don't.

-We have been given so much love, help, and support these past several weeks. I am already overwhelmed with the love that there is for this unborn baby. We are very blessed.