Tuesday, November 19, 2013

thankful

I haven't done the thankful-for thing on Facebook this November, because it's not really my style. Though I love reading other peoples' posts and think it's a wonderful display of gratitude.

But I will tell you this - today I am thankful for 2 very specific things.

I am thankful for my sister, Mandy. She has taught me very important lessons about friendship. She has taught me the sheer joy that comes with having someone synced with your brain and heart because you are alike and relieved to know you are not "the only one". She has also taught me the complete opposite - how to be friends with someone so fundamentally different from me that I would never have naturally been drawn to them. I credit her exposure in my life to the reason I have any friends who are introverts, including my husband. She has shown me how to connect with people who are not out-going by nature, how to better-love someone who isn't of the extroverted persuasion, and the value and joy of people who balance us out.

Speaking of those people... I am thankful for an ever gracious husband. The kind of husband who doesn't murder his wife when she manages to cause over $500 worth of damage to his truck within 10 minutes of arriving home... after a night where he didn't get any sleep because the aforementioned wife is pregnant and wakes up all night long to use the bathroom or to readjust. Honey, I don't have anything to say to console you other than "I don't take it for granted, and I'm never going to touch another car while I'm pregnant."


Be grateful, friends.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Waiting.

I don't think I'm the most patient person. I never have been one for waiting around. People keep telling me not to wish pregnancy to go by fast, because I'll be wishing I could have him in for a little longer once he's here.

That's probably not true of anyone who has had some form of hypermesis, but that's not the point. And for the record, of every {very sick} pregnant person I've polled, 100% would take labor, delivery, and/or a c-section and the newborn stage over any point of pregnancy. But again, not the point.

The point is, or rather, the question is - am I using this time well? I will admit I have spent more than my fair share of pregnancy in self-misery, watching Super Size vs Super Skinny on youtube, popping pills like candy.

But lately, I think I've been moving out of it. I've been challenged to make my world very small, but to do my best to love very well in that world. It's a very humbling and very thrilling experience. Though I've had to say good-bye to family members (both for the rest of my life and just until we can visit again), I've been given great people to pour into right now. I've had very specific "pray for them", "be with these people", "say no to that", "say yes to that", or "just sit here and read the Bible and be open" moments. Every single spare second I have is gold, because I have so few of them that are anywhere close to productive (like that I'm awake and not vomiting for).

I have found, that in the waiting, there is good work to be done. I have found, that in fact, I don't think this is a stage of waiting at all. It is a season of doing... differently. And different isn't easy. It's hard to know none of your grandparents will see your firstborn. It's hard to want to get Thai food with your brother-in-law, or ask him a question about the nursery setup, only to remember that you don't live together, you haven't in forever, and he lives in Atlanta. It's hard to go to a job everyday that you are pretty sure you won't be returning to post-partum. But it's beautiful to see new friendships grow. It's amazing to have your niece put a pillow besides you "for when the baby is here". It's rewarding to listen to what you should do, and just do it.

No season in life is totally about the wait - God uses the weak, God doesn't do things our way, God doesn't care about our priorities anyway.