Dull Moments

friends, it's no secret that clothes shopping for boys is way inferior to clothes shopping for girls. is it easier? yes. cheaper? probably. simpler to put outfit togethers? yes, thank goodness. but the girl's stuff is just so... i don't know. addicting?  the exception?  little boy winter sweaters & jackets. i cannot even look at a crisp denim jacket for joe without somehow justifying that he needs this james dean inspired look.  a wool pea coat? i die.  a thick cable knit sweater with toggle buttons? i'll take one in each color. a brightly colored fleece? yes, bring some cheer to those dreary winter days. before long, it looks like i'm stocking up an LL Bean catalog in our hall closet... just in kid's size.  AND IT'S ONLY SEPTEMBER.

"Do you want more kids?" I pause. The question. Do I want more kids? Joe is that age. That age where many people add their second child. I have no easy answer to that question. We love Joe with our hearts and souls and love being his parents. I love being at home with him (most days ;) ), and I love our little life together. We watch him get bigger and better and wish for all things baby. " Of course  we want another baby!" I want to say. Hyperemsis gravidum is a weird thing. You are totally fine, and then you get pregnant, and you are totally not fine . Then, after 9 long months, you get a newborn, which requires all your energy and work after you already gave all your energy and work just to stay out of the hospital while pregnant, and then, 18 months into motherhood, you are totally fine again. So I should do it again, right? After all, how cute is my kid? I hold my friends' babies and my heart aches. A baby . I look at my sister and brother and thi...

While it's no secret that (one day, when they cure severe morning sickness) we would like more children, I am sorta loving the just having one stage. I can do things like take my one year old to the beach. Friends, keeping up with a crazy toddler at the beach is no joke , and if I had a baby or another kid under the age of, like, 6, it would not be happening. So I took Joe to our small, dinky, very-Indiana beach. What it lacks in views (seriously, you are looking at a highway, townhouse construction, and a hospital... so I guess it may not be that hard to pretend it's California), it makes up for in accessibility and in our son's joy of being there. Joe loves the water (he always has). Joe did a Baywatch reenactment the first time we took him to the beach. Full force, unbridled, he ran straight to the shore and dove face-first into the water. He giggles and giggles as he splashes. He digs and digs in the "sand". He runs around. The sun makes his hair more...

A year ago today we lost my father-in-law. Shock doesn't even describe the feeling I got when I got that phone call. Today we will celebrate. We will celebrate his love, his life. We will probably fight back (or not fight back) tears. We will smile when we see Don's face in little Joe's eyes and expressions. Today, we will give thanks for the gift of having Don in our lives, and for the promise of eternal life through Jesus. There's a really great blog post being shared on Facebook about what to do when someone in your life is grieving. It's good - read it, do it. My advice on what to do when someone in your life experiences tragedy? Show up. You don't have to know the right words (and, as that blog points out, saying the wrong thing or admitting you don't know what to say is better than not saying anything). You don't have to know what to do. Just show up.  That night, a year ago today, my mom quickly rearranged everything (she was watching my s...

i hate lasts. last night in our house. i brought my first baby home to this house. so many things have happened to us here. change is never easy, friends. when i feel that knot in my stomach rise up and catch myself holding my breath, i force my abdomen to relax. "breathe", i remind myself. the shutting of the door is hard, the few steps forward to the new one is always the hardest part. usually, once we're there, it's ok. we just have to take those steps. i spoke last year at our women's retreat. the past isn't bad, i recounted to my fellow sisters, but if we hold onto it and wrap our hands around it until our knuckles turn white, it becomes an idol. if we don't let go, it will get in the way of our worship. God only calls us forward. while i don't have all the pieces to the big picture of what's next for us, i know this is my next step. i can slip this piece into that puzzle confidently. even though there's still that knot in ...

Frankie, our blankie friend At age 1, Joe is fun and full of life. And if there is anything Joe loves as much as life itself, it's Frankie. Frankie the Blankie. Frankie is a lovey that we were given, along with half a dozen other little blankies & toys. But Joe picked Frankie out of the masses and has chosen him as his companion. He learned to say, "Dadda", then "Momma", then, "Frankie!". Frankie is a trooper. On any given day, Frankie gets bitten, thrown, covered in grossness, and put in any number of precarious positions. Like shoved in a drawer.    or tucked into the Batmobile . Or taken along for a couch climb.  Where there is Joe, Frankie is usually along side, game for action. Frankie is also practical, a helpful friend for tasks like finding lost toys under the couch.  And at every nap and bedtime, Frankie is safely tucked close, keeping Joe company through the night, getting rest to prepare for the next d...

I was reading the book of Esther. Because I was so. tired. of everything feeling so hard . What was the call we received? Why isn't our follow through working? Why is our life like this? Are we living accidentally or intentionally? What if it is accidentally and we can't change it? I was casually talking to a licensed therapist today about our life - she was at a Q&A session at MOPs - and she asked if I wanted to schedule a session. That really made me feel great about our life. When I read Esther's story, I feel like a lot of things that happened to her weren't exactly easy. Orphaned. Virginity given to the King because he's mad at his wife. King happens to be of skeptical character. People are trying to kill her one remaining family member. She doesn't know what to do. She's of a race that someone is out to destroy. She has to keep who she is a secret. She has to risk her life multiple times to try to save herself. Oh, and her entire na...