Dull Moments

I can't even process losing my father-in-law. I don't know if I have ever loved someone quite the way I loved him. But to honor him, I will say this... My mother-in-law's reverend came over yesterday to help us plan the service. "People will say, 'It gets easier with time.' Just kick them in the shins. It doesn't get easier. It gets easier for them, maybe." I keep coming back to this and it keeps making me laugh. And my father-in-law would be happy to know that we are still finding ways to laugh.

I am not someone who would describe myself as someone that does well on little sleep. I would tell you that it's a struggle for me to have a good day on 7 hours. Oh how things have changed. I meant to write a post on my first mother's day, but honestly, I was so overtired and wracked with post partum depression and anxiety that I could barely function. After an intervention from my husband and the help of countless family and friends, a check in with my ob, we've turned a corner. What did I not expect in motherhood? The sleep deprivation. The constant second guessing, the constant feeling that I'm doing something wrong or should be doing more. We are reading "Be Mature", a study of James, in our small group. It's all about embracing the trials, knowing that God is shaping you. I did not expect for my faith to be stretched so much. But it brings so much joy. I can't do more. I don't know what I'm doing. But this is a calling. I have ...

-We found the golden goose of parenthood: the perfect babysitter. You want to know what's working for us? THAT. She adores Joe. Her parents drive her one way. She is polite and perfect. I basically want her to move in. Bonus? Her sister cuts our lawn and loves our dog. -Accepting help. This is hard for me, super type A, super I always have it together. But it's a necessary reality in my life that I need weekly, some time daily help -Daddy time. Robert coming home at a decent hour and spending time with Joe. Robert taking Joe when he wakes before 7am (he's getting ready for work anyway). Robert taking Joe on errands on the weekend. I have mad respect for single parents. I don't know how they do it. -Formula. I know. Super controversial. But we now do what's called "combo feeding" (where you both breastfeed, pump, and give formula) and it's saved my mind and kept us breastfeeding when I was ready to give up. Plus, Joe has gained more weight, sleeps...

-Cartwheel Target App Do you live at Target? We do. This app has special offers & coupons. PLUS you can scan stuff in-store and see if there are deals. -Reading on the Kindle I finally started using the gift R gave me for Christmas. I love it! It's way easier to manage than a paper book when I'm nursing or pumping and it makes the time go fast. What am I reading? Jen Hatmaker's Step Out of the Spin Cycle and I am Livia -Facebook garage sale groups I buy everything for Joe on these. Baby stuff, clothes, etc. all for dirt cheap and it's barely used. -car seat swaddle What did I buy that was super useful on these sites? SWADDLES. Joe loves to be swaddled and he is getting too long for his newborn ones. I found some bigger ones for $2/each and they can be used in a car seat!! BONUS. They are very thin and keep him warm (I know you all are like "PUTTING STUFF IN THE CARSEAT ISN'T SAFE. I assure you this is thinner than a sweatshirt would be for him). T...

Since it seems to be all the rage  to have your child be super advanced, Robert and I have started a little joke in which we take everything Joe does and blow it way out of proportion. Apparently, we are NOT the parents who are looking to brag that our child did x by z age, or did xyz early, or go around telling people how ahead  our baby is. All I can tell you about Joe's head involves my experience pushing him out, and you don't want to hear about it. So, here is our super advanced baby, you know, driving a car, and, of course, talking up a storm.

Joe, day 1 today i packed up the newborn clothes (well, minus the pants because you are so skinny that's the only size that really fits you). today i packed the newborn clothes. you still seem so tiny, yet they are impossibly even smaller than you. today i folded the first outfit you ever wore and i remembered that strange, sleepless, dream-like hospital stay in which you entered the world. where we met face to face for the first time. has 10 weeks gone by? or has it been one? or a thousand? it's so fast, yet so much has changed it's hard to imagine it's been only 10 weeks. it's hard to imagine a time you were not here. Joe, a few weeks old as you drifted off to sleep in my lap, i traced the outline of your face. i'm looking down at my forehead and eyes, yet you look just your father. but then you flinch, i see your aunts, your father's sisters. but if you half grin as you dose off, you pull your mouth back on one side like my nephew, like...

A fellow blogger friend of mine does a super sweet blog segment called "what's working" each month. She includes cute pictures. I'm not that organized, but I love the idea - so here's our "what's working: March 2014". This one is dedicated to all my momma-to-be-friends. Gatorade . I got a stomach bug last week, and the only things that would stay down where Gatorade and Sprite. Guess what? Gatorade almost doubled what I can pump when I have to. That's a big win. Books. The Baby Whisperer, Baby Wise, Bringing up Bebe. These are my go-to's as I navigate being a new momma. Joe has been to our library many, many times in his young life. Buying in bulk . It's not easy getting out with an infant. I buy doubles of a lot of things: gas drops, diapers, etc. I buy snacks at Costco (I snack a lot while nursing). I know individual packs are wasteful, but they are so handy to stash around the house and in our diaper bag. The boppy . Joe l...