Waiting

I've been thinking about new and old things. I promised to write about them.

Life is a big combination of new and old things right now. We are here, but we are leaving. We have a house we own, a house we rent, and we are looking for a house to buy after ours sells. Old things, new things. Thinking about what you want in a house tells you a lot about yourself. Me? I'm... neurotic. Yes, that's right. I just want big closets and cabinets for my stuff and rooms/garages/basements for Robert's junk stuff.

I hated my last job, I love my current job, I will need a new job... see? Old and new. When our nurse recently made me draw her blood, she was like, "Chrissy, you are wasting your life and should totally be an RN." Okay, that's not really what she said. It was more like, "You'd be a great nurse. Why don't you get your RN?". I have all these reasons why. I never thought I was smart enough/I'd be good at it/I'd love it. People always told me I was good at... other things. Not that anyone ever said, "You would suck at being a nurse." In fact, it was more, "Thank you so much for cleaning up and bandaging my broken, bloody toe."

I went home and asked Robert, "What do you think about me going back to school to be a nurse?" He said, "I think you'd love it. Just don't work in hospitals where you'd have 12 hour shifts and I'd have to go 12 hours without seeing you." Adorable, right?

So I asked him when he thought we could afford for me to go back to school (never?). The answer: the same time we want to have kids. These things cannot happen at the same time (and keep our sanity), so after the kids are kind of in school. "LAME. LAME LAME LAME!" cried the Chrissy.

Impatience: an old, old battle of mine.
Waiting: a concept I am working very, very hard to be better at and find value in.

And don't read this and think Robert is killing my dreams or thinks I'm some kind of baby maker. He is right, and there are things we are both very committed to that means this waits. Being debt free, buying a house, not taking out student loans, not wanting to have kids right away or in my mid-to-late 30s... these are all things I would say take priority over going back to school.

Here's the thing: as unhappy (and pouty) I was about having to wait, I know there is a reason. I know there is a reason we will have been in TN for the last year. I know there is a reason I cannot go back to school right now. I know there is a reason for putting it off not just for a few years, but for perhaps 10. It's not like I am 100% about this anyway (but I am considering it much more than I have anything else)

So do I know those reason?
Nope.
Would I like to?
YES, PLEASE.
Will I?
Maybe in, like, 20 years.

Until then?
Psalm 130:6 My soul waits for the Lord more than the watchman for the morning; Indeed, more than watchman for the morning.

The right things, the right way, are always worth the wait.

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