Deep Thoughts over coffee & more coffee

I've been interviewing for jobs. And turning down jobs. But don't worry -- the search is going really well.

Now I am weighing the options of a few *tentative offers*. Or, of what types of employment to pursue.

I am having some good interviews for clinics run by Wishard. I loved what I did in TN. It drove me crazy, but in a good way. But I'm also pursuing some really interesting companies that need bilingual people, too.

And here is my dilemma... In case you didn't figure it out, I will probably make peanuts at Wishard (at least to start). I will probably not have an easy job. I will probably have to work not always the best hours, in not the best locations. I will probably love it, hate it, be challenged, and take it on sort of like a calling.

Or... I could make decent money, grow with a non-medical company, move-up, and well... have it pretty good. But it's not about the money. I'd enjoy the job, most likely. I'd be excited by the opportunities and the new field. I'd feel really called, actually, to try to use us making more money as an opportunity to serve.

So which is it?

What does Robert have to say, you may ask? Would my husband appreciate me actually bringing in a decent income (for once)? Is he insulted by the idea that I think we could use more money to do other things?

"Chrissy, if you worked at Wishard, it'd be a sacrifice. It's something we can do. It's not something to be looked down on or avoid. "

"But... if I were single, I wouldn't be taking that job. There's no way I could live off of it. And that makes me feel... guilty?" I responded. Because all of that is true.

"But you aren't single."
"But..."
"No. This is our life. This is what we are, what are called to be. And that's how you have to make the decision. I don't care what you chose, but do what you want."

Yeah... he's pretty great.

So, besides new shoes and a Lotus, what do I want?
To help the poor? Yes... but how? In which ways?
To serve?
To do something many people would not want to do?
To take advantage of the fact that we are blessed in the way that we don't need me to make a lot of money to live?

But.
What about being on the sort of same schedule as my husband?
What about being away every 3rd weekend?
What about a very real possibility of burning out?
What about perhaps a very real challenge of being the only person like me at my job?
What about being able to give to those around us?
What about not being able to wear heels, ever to work? Just kidding

I want those things, too. And they are important things.

So... what to do?
No answers... yet. We will see how this unfolds. Right now, my decision is another cup of coffee, and watching my niece and nephew. So, ciao.